5 days to go!

This last week seems like it all blurred together. And normally you would think that's because of all the wedding prep to be done, schedules to keep and so forth. But really, time came to a halt.......

On Sunday evening, while I thought my life was going swimmingly and perfect, I was printing out itineraries and program pages, when my life was completely interrupted. Casey came through the door, when he should have been at work, and had to tell me that my father was gone.

He was killed in a work related accident on his jobsite. A piece of equipment malfunctioned, rolled down a bank, pinning him down and crushing him instantly............. He was not going to be there on my wedding day to walk me down the aisle.

I screamed, cried, was in complete shock and denial......thinking no, this is not happening to me. Why!??? I just didn't want to believe what I was hearing. Calls were made and panic mode set in......and Casey and I made our way up to Placerville to be with my family.

The rest of the week seems very surreal. Definitely one that I don't like looking back on, but feel I must in order to remind myself that he really, truly is gone.

I have my good moments, and my sad moments (I don't like saying bad moments, because they're not bad....they are normal.....I just get sad, nostalgic and emotional.) I know that he is always around me, and with me wherever I go. He will be smiling at me and all of us on our wedding day. That I am sure. He was so very excited to enjoy the day and be there with everyone. I remember my mom describing to me when he was fitted for his tuxedo, and how proud he was to say "I'm the father of the bride."

Now we must remember the great moments that we shared with him, and what a great life he lived with all of us. I hear many wonderful stories about him from friends and family, and realize how many people were touched by his warmth, laughter and kindness. It helps to keep his memories alive in my heart.



So now, we look ahead to our wedding day, which will be a little different, but even more special. Now that Casey and I understand how precious life can be, and how important and valuable a marriage is, it is that much more meaningful to us now.

Even though my brother will be walking me down that aisle, I know Dad will be on the other side of me, smiling (and I'm sure shedding a tear), for his little girl who has grown up too fast.